Because reasons

The time has come, the walrus said, to speak of other things, of shoes and ships and sealing wax, cabbages and kings. -Lewis Carroll.

'Interesting stuff.' Quoth the Sandwich, sitting at a park bench in the middle of winter.  Snow piled up all around his bench--a vast expanse of the purest of white snow, punctuated by giant piles of disgusting muddy slush and the footprints of countless random people.

The Sandwich took an eager bite of his pastrami and rye, and chewed it thoughtfully.  A dab of mustard escaped from inside the sandwich, and plunged down to create an oily stain on his coat, a stain which would persist there for the life of the coat, or a massive rainstorm, whichever came first.   He strained to read the paragraph again, but it managed to just elude his understanding:

The Sandwich kept up a pretense of understanding as he consumed both the pastrami, and his book.  

stuff and nonsense

Here I sit, lightly toasted
Like a mushroom, oddly roasted
Over flames and coal.

Quietly typing, slowly wiping
the sweat from off my brow.

There I go, mostly melted
Like a sandwich freshly dealted
By a chef named Saul.

Slowly typing, quietly wiping
fingerprints from my screen

Now I glance, rightly pointed
towards the door disjointed
it's too dark to see

Wiping slowly, typing quietly
nonsense here for you

LED

"Ah." quoth the light emitting diode, alone in his slumber.
Sailing across the raging sea, light emitting diode he.

Away through the rocky isle, and doldrums,
Through reefs and crowded fish university.

To reach the other side of forgotten,
Winking and blinking, alone, you see.


Light emitting diode, light emitting diode
Drawing power from the wind and sea.


Blinking and winking, like a star in the sky
Until it is swallowed by a fishy. 

It's the taste that pleases

Lovely cheeses, loping across the prairie, chortle at the the wind.
Merrily they leap through the valley, and over each grassy hill.

Oft I wonder as I ponder, gazing in the sky,
Where are you headed, little cheeses, and why?

Morality Tale #1

Do I ever post frequently!

No.

So this one time, several large, finely hatted sharks were strolling through a wood, and they came upon a tiny hut, covered in moss.

Of course, sharks aren't naturally afraid of very much, so they knocked on the red, rotting, door.  It was shortly opened by a little old woman, who reminded the sharks of nothing so much as a witch.

Well, they gobbled her right up.

The moral of the story is not to open to door for sharks, even if you are a witch and the sharks are wearing lovely hats.

Tribes!

Tribes:Ascend is free, check it out.

Spoilers!

Alright, you froods. I'm gonna spoil this for all of the slightly undercultured among us and include links for the more obscure characters:

1. Simpsons (Did you know Matt Groening intended Marge to be a bunny from one of his older comic strips? Supposedly her hair is hiding her ears.)

2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Currently being molested by Michael Bay)

3. South Park (OMG, they killed Kenny!)

4.Smurfs (The French/Belgian stuff kind of starts here)

5.Asterix and Obelix (aha!)

6.Bert and Ernie. (If you didn't at least know that, seek help immediately)

7.Donald Duck, Huey, Louie, and Dewey. (Tell me you got this?)

8.Lucky Luke and the Dalton Gang. (This one is the toughest)

Alright. So I got all of them pretty quick, save Asterix and Lucky Luke. Those took a little longer, because I'm not that familiar with Asterix (sad, I know, but though I've read pretty nearly all of the Tintin stuff, I've only got my hands on one Asterix), and I thought Lucky Luke was too obscure for it to show up in something like this. Also the Dalton gang hasn't had the marketing the Turtles have.

I did see both the animated and live-action productions of Lucky Luke, and they are pretty strange. Entertaining, but strange. Check them out. If you like the actor from The Artist and Lucky Luke, catch him at his best in the OSS 117 movies.

There you have it. I've spoiled it all for you.

Update: I should point out that Lucky Luke and Asterix are actually hugely popular in Europe. I think they are relatively obscure here in the USA, which is unfortunate.

Update 2: Asterix has a theme park in France! (http://www.parcasterix.fr/en/monde/la-gaule)

"Are you proud as a Gallic cock and not afraid of getting wet?"