Great Debate!

Ok, sorry about the lack of funny recently.

I now bring you the Great Debate!

I recently noticed the popularity of one Superman, (aka Clark Kent) and was slightly disappointed, since I prefer the Green Lantern. The greatest of which is Hal Jordan. Only slightly less great is Kyle Raynor, and if you don't mind scraping the bottom of the Giant Barrel of Class and Style, Guy Gardner and John Stewart are not completely unservicible.

Today's Great Debate is which super Hero is better. Not necessarily stronger or faster, since Superman's limits are theoretical, but merely overall coolness and various qualities that make a good Hero.

Also, I'm only going to use Hal, Kyle, and Clark Kent, since every other variation sucks. (Not that I've seen them all, but this is a fair assumption, get over it.)

Superman

First, look at Superman's costume. He is either too dumb to figure out how to put on his underroos, or he changes clothes so fast, that his pants are on before he finishes pulling up his BVD's.

It is a striking outfit in most other regards, however. Not much chance to enter any sort of stealth mode though, is there?


See how super he looks? The cape is very dramatic. Tons of bulging, rippling muscles as well. It must be hard for artists to contain themselves, I mean, c'mon, he's the greatest, strongest guy in the Universe, so you'd better pack as many swollen muscles on that godlike frame as you can. Somehow, Clark Kent gets rid of all of that added muscle mass instantly, tranforming into the dweebiest dweeb of all. Oh yeah, Superman is a little schitzo.

Oh, and I think maybe he has a hard time fitting pants, 'cause he always wears a belt. But that may just be a sign of the times he was born in.

Character wise, he is too super. Gets kinda boring. Plus, he can't have a love life. He is the last of his kind, there can never be another, without some creative writing.

Superman is an alien, and as such is kinda creepy for anyone to have feelings for. Losing his entire planet and family is pretty good back story, but it's pretty fantastic. You might sometimes want to be like Superman, but nobody wants to actually be him.

Powers include: Flying, moving fast, x-ray vision, lasers shoot out of his eyes, lightning shoots out his ass, he is bullet proof, indestructible, etc. Only weakness is the incredibly easy to obtain Kryptonite, which is supposidly shards of his homeworld. Probably shards of alien broccoli.

And now on to:

The Green Lantern

Hal Jordan

Ah. Now that's style! Sweet custom Domino mask, subdued styling with just the right amount of Heroic Flair. He can go into stealth mode instantly with green, and wont leave any fingerprints behind to incriminate his alter ego.

You will also notice the lack of any sort of cape. Capes have been the downfall of many super Heroes. The mask adds enough drama on it's own. Absolutely no problem with his underpants, and no belt. This is a modern, 'with it' kinda guy.

His hair isn't greasy looking, it's long and full of body. He usually has that sweet Indiana Jones chin stubble.

Character wise, this is one seriously cool dude. Test pilot for fighter planes, he was chosen to be Earth's Green Lantern on account of bravery, fearlessness, integrity, and downright awesomeness.

Hal isn't a disgusting mass of pulsating muscles and veins like some other 'Heroes', but he is well built, and nicely proportioned.

The beauty of the Green Lantern, is the Corps. Anyone can be a Lantern Bearer if they are pure of heart, strong, fearless, have huge brass ones, and can grow chin stubble.

Powers include: Being able to make anything he can imagine out of some kind of light emitted from his rechargable Power ring. Light against Darkness, get it?

I decided to throw in Kyle Rayner for the heck of it. He's got a kickass costume (especially his new one, not pictured). This costume looks even more like a Harlequin, which gets some bonus points from the French Judges.

He's designed for the violent, jaded, MTV generation, mostly focused on weapons, but recently became more stable and respectible. He became a Green Lantern on accident, but that proved fortuituous.

I don't know a whole lot about him, and less about the other slobs that wear Green.