I think I read a book like this once, but I couldn't follow it, as it had no plot, intent on changing the world of literature, I swore to only write p

This important message is brought to you by a pressing need to get that damn dancing baby off the front page of this esteemed rag of a blog.

Now that the important bit is out of the way, let us move on to the commercials:

"Now with bits of glass inside, Pepsi Blue is really not much worse than before! Aquire at your own peril!"

Thus spake the sage, and as it was written, so it was done, with a feather pen and splotches of ink everywhere, which some interpreted as genitalia, and others

as fighter jets engaged in intense aerial combat with giant mutant butterflies.

"All this and more, for the low, low, price, of one small child and a platinum ring! Offer expires frequently, and no attempt to prove otherwise has proved successful up to this point."

So said the lowly copy writer, the filthy chappy with the broken spellchecker and several gallons of yogurt.

"No amount of whining and complaining can stop this product from achieving it's ultimate goal, and careful cajoling may change the outcome of past events! And it's improved somewhat from our original design which was pure crap as you well know!"

So the passing flamingo on rollerskates. Flamingos are elegant creatures, statuesque and unassuming, they reveal the inherent absurdity we refuse to admit are the building blocks of the universe. Oh, the platypus is ridiculous, but we excuse it as an insect, the hippopotamus is a silly conglomeration of Greek words, which is nothing like the seahorse. But the noble flamingo! God's own bubblegum flavored chuckle!

"Fire randomly into the crowd, let none escape untouched by our new and improved flavor!"

Shouted the Bourgeoisie buffoon to his squadron of naval engineers, pretzel fanciers and domino players, each armed to the teeth with flavorful cannon of pure chocolate and ivory.

And so ended another busy day of working diligently at the Strugg and Blackham Mostly Edible Shoeshine factory.