Time Saves Truth, and me from copyright gremlins

So, some very important information has recently come to light via the hidden camera installed on a technologically advanced, slightly mutated, reconnaissance grasshopper, that many of you aren't happy with the level of material published here.

Some have claimed this is all a front, an attempt by aliens to masquerade as human, aliens who are secretly writing an article on this planet to publish in an intergalactic guidebook, perhaps, and must supplement their income by writing innocuous blogposts on some abandoned website using substandard English and a passing attempt at appearing halfway sane.

While I admit beer money can always use supplementing, little of that bears any resemblance to the Truth, as Truth is blond and a little pudgy.

Instead, Time flies, as the eagle swims, and the biscuit moseys. Thus, a great deal of effort is expended in the attempt to not only entertain the world, but to contribute to the insane amount of useless blabber that permeates our wonderful internet.

So, here you will find only pastoral bucolics and pseudointellectual nonsense that I dug up from one specific Scientific American issue, circa 1968, and several back issues of Highlights for Awkward Teen Adolescents.

These magazines found their way to a box I picked up from a garage sale a week or two ago, and I found their theory on Dark Matter vaguely unsettling, like when you eat french fries a little too fast, or just when you realize that, no matter how good a Root Beer Float is, you shouldn't have made one in a pitcher.

Danged if I can figure out captions. Once I do, this will all make sense, excepting the bits with text and some of the pictures.