Dear sirs:

Your product ate my cat. I plugged it into the wall socket, (as per the directions,) and it instantly hunted my cat and ate it. I haven't heard or seen my cat since, and I unplugged the unit and dismantled it completely during my search.

I have all of the pieces inside of a metal box right now while I await further instructions. I had placed the dismantled unit inside of a cardboard box earlier, but it ate through the cardboard in a matter of minutes, and attempted to escape my house.

I would like a full refund, and a new cat. Also, I think that this product should not be advertised to juveniles quite so heavily, as I think it may be more dangerous than you realized.

I did attempt to send the product back to the factory via FedDHS, but the delivery man was killed soon after he came into contact with it. I heard some vague snarling/growling noises, and believe that they came from the dismantled product, and not the delivery man. (His name was Chuck, by the way, and his wife is upset.)

Thank you in advance, and remember that my cat was calico, aged 3 years (human) and named "Mitzy". I expect my new cat to be identical. (but not a clone, as my last one deteriorated quite rapidly, and left a puddle on my bedsheets.)

Yours, as long as you comply fully,
Mrs. Diaveroeaux