Crazy federal laws! Bad! Bad!

I recently read an article on how to build your own traffic light changing doohicky , and as soon as I finished it, some jerks tried to make it a federal offense. Of course, there was a lot of hand-wringing, and some crying "we can't have maniacs drive 80 MILES AN HOUR THROUGH AN ENDLESS STRING OF GREEN LIGHTS!" "Ambulances would explode! Mayhem! Carnage! Won't anyone think of the children?"

Naturally, I was disgusted. The whole concept is insanely simple, you just flash infrared lights at the right frequency, and the light is supposed to change. It's just a flashing light, no radios, no encyption, and no complications.

I had no idea the federal government thought that it could regulate intrastate traffic laws, so I did some Shoddy Research™, and found the text of the bill, (nevermind that some of the text is now at the DIY link)

"To improve traffic safety by discouraging the use of traffic signal preemption transmitters"

That kind of says it all, doesn't it? "We are just discouraging the use of stuff, not actually doing anything"

"(2) USE- A person who makes unauthorized use of a traffic signal preemption transmitter in or affecting interstate or foreign commerce shall be fined not more than $10,000, imprisoned not more than 6 months, or both."

I'm not sure how anyone can draw the line between what affects interstate commerce, and what doesn't. If you check the intersection, and don't see anyone else, then I guess you are ok. (Unless your state banned it!) Funny thing though, ambulances and fire trucks have nothing to do with interstate commerce, so this law doesn't protect them at all. Huh.

I also hate how the lights are called transmitters. Gee, are flashlights transmitters? I can send morse code with them, so is the FCC gonna raid my house and steal my flashlight transmitters?

"(b) Definitions- In this section, the following definitions apply:

`(1) TRAFFIC SIGNAL PREEMPTION TRANSMITTER- The term `traffic signal preemption transmitter' means any mechanism that can change or alter a traffic signal's phase time or sequence."


Oh... Do you know how traffic lights sometimes work? Sometimes there's a magnet down there that can detect the presence of a car, and the mere presence of a car makes the light change. WHOA! My car MAY BE ILLEGAL?! What about those little buttons for pedestrians? Unless, the rumours are true that they are fake pieces of crap, they might be illegal!

"The term `unauthorized use' does not apply to use of a traffic signal preemption transmitter for classroom or instructional purposes.'."

Oh good, because the world is my classroom, and I'm instructing my pal here in MIRTs...


-----------DISCLAIMER--------------

Big giant suprise coming up... I'm not a lawyer. Don't take this crap as legal advice, it might get you in trouble, you maniac, trying to drive 80 MPH THROUGH AN ENDLESS STRING OF GREEN LIGHTS CRASHING INTO AMBULANCES AND RUNNING OVER CHILDREN!

I love NYC!

So I was hunting hobos the other day, and I accidentally wandered into a Yakuza owned warehouse. I was gonna shoot my way out as normally would, but several members of the local Yakuza 109 were selling watermelons, and I really like those.

Anyway, I dropped a watermelon on my toe and it really hurt. I limped back to the dark alleys where I roam, and found a couple hobos, but I was too tired by now to light them on fire like I usually do, so I just pushed them down an open man-hole. Then I sat back down and ate some watermelon.

On my way back home, several wild dogs tried to sell me some drugs but I said no. Then I threw a stick for them, and grabbed the drugs that they dropped. Stupid dogs.

I haven't posted here since forever. I keep getting caught up reading the adventures of the great Cerebron Ix. Meanwhile, I'm squashing sentient Cheetos.

I've been having problems with McAfee products here for some reason, they just refuse to install. I've quested through various forums, search engines, etc, and journeyed through the murky mists of the Registry. I've cleared esoteric Files from hidden folders, and scanned the snot out of this electonic abacus with various Virus Hunters from yon internets with no luck at all.

DARN YOU!

Alas and alack, I've got no antivirus running now (defense = -100), and barely have a free Zone Alarm firewall (defense = x100) running. Pooh.

Anyway, when I'm not battling MY OWN COMPUTER in a contest of wits and bytes, I almost have time for fun.

Say, if you all read through that batch of boringness, then maybe you know me... or are just bored out of your gourd. I'll leave you all with a poem.

The summer is over
time to kill aliens.
well, isn't it always?