Thursday, April 19, 2007

My violent shoe theory

Ambulance chasing Jack Thompson claims that violent video games helped train whatshisstupidface to shoot people at VT, and also all of the other school shooting jerkwads. His evidence? Basically, it's correlation. Which proves nothing. They all played violent video games?

Guess what?

They all wore shoes.

  • Violent nutjobs cannot have the success at shooting innocent people that they do without wearing shoes. How far would they have gotten without them?
  • Did you know that our Army Special Forces (trained killers!) wear shoes? It's true.
  • Lee Harvey Oswald, John Wilkes Booth, and John Rambo wore shoes.
  • Big Game Hunters wear shoes as well. It helps them track and kill their prey.
  • The Columbine wacktards wore shoes.
  • So does your mom!
  • Most of the world's armies train to kill in shoes.
  • Executioners in prison wear shoes.
  • Nearly every character in every violent action movie wears shoes.
  • El Wray wore shoes.
  • JACK THOMPSON WEARS SHOES.
  • Every killer, every unbalanced violent wacko in this country is wearing shoes that ANYONE CAN BY AT A STORE WITHOUT HAVING TO PROVIDE GOVERNMENT I.D.!
That should be proof enough. Violent video games aren't to blame for this massacre, shoes are.

I challenge Jack Thompson to defeat my impenetrable logic.