Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Rock On!

I've found a bodacious time waster that is Tenacious D based. Gnarly, dude.


I don't know if you are familiar with Guitar Hero, but this little gem plays a bit like it. Just play your keyboard like you would rock on your Martin. The 'strings' are A-S-D-F, just hold them down, and press the spacebar to 'strum' in time. Do it right (tricky), and the music is sweet. Mess up (quite likely), and the music stutters and squeaks, which is what I would expect to happen if I tried to really play a guitar.

You could just leave the keyboard on your desk like some sort of unhip shmuck, and type away frantically, but it's tough to remember which finger coresponds to which key. I've found it easier, and somewhat cooler to hold the keyboard upright, a bit like an accordion, and imagine I don't look like an ass. It feels more like a guitar that way too.

If you have some friends or maybe little brothers, you can probably assign each person their own key to push. A cheap way to post a high score, or fun party activity? I'll let you decide.

Wow, you host some sucky parties dude.

For mad points, you can use the mouse to wriggle the devil's uvula. That part is tricky.

I've decided to use my foot. Hey, that mouse can't get much dirtier unless I wiped it on my dog's butt and cleaned the john with it, why not wriggle that blighter with my little piggies?

That's right. I'm totally rocking Dick van Dyke's one man band in Mary Poppins as Tenacious D.

That song rocks too.

But remember, wriggle the devil's uvula! (with your toes! Or possibly your little brother! I punch my brother in the head when he fails! Don't smash your monitor with the keyboard! Unless you are Pete Townsend!)

Edit: here are the lyrics, just in case you can multi-task hardcore:

"POD"

Cause it's the Pick of Destiny child,
you know we will be rockin' cause it's flippin' insane.
It's just the Pick of Destiny child,
my precious little diamond on a platinum chain.

In Venice Beach there was a man named Kage.
When he buskin he was all the rage.
He met Jables and he taught him well.
All the techniques that were developed in hell.
Crotch-pushups and the power slide.
Geek simulation now there's nowhere to hide.
They formed a band they named Tenacious D.
and then they got the Pick Of Destiny.

Cause it's the Pick of Destiny child,
you know we will be rockin' cause it's frickin' insane.
It's just the Pick of Destiny child,
our tasty moves are better than a chicken chow mein.

Cause he who is sleazy,
is easy to pleasy.
and she who is juicy,
must be loosy-goosey.
and he who is groovy,
will be in my movie, so come on!

The wizard and the demon had a battle royale,
The demon almost killed him with an evil kapow.
But then he broke his tooth,
and thus the demon said Ow.

Cause it's the Pick of Destiny child,
you know we will be rockin' cause it's frickin' insane.
It's just the Pick of Destiny child,
you know our movie's better than a Citizen Kane

Cause he who's a geezer,
must live in my freezer.
and she who is snarky,
is full of malarkey.
and he who is groovy,
must be in my movie, so come on!

Cause if you're a diva,
then go to Geneva.
and if you're a croney,
then suck my baloney.
and if you are groovy,
then get in my movie,
It's called the Pick of Destiny.
It's called the Pick of Destiny!