NO! It says 'titles' not 'titties'. Perverts.
Here:
No, wait, over there ---> Ha! got you! down there, |
So, got carried away for a moment. Stephen Hawking is looking for a new assistant. Apparently, applicants will need to progress through a wacky castle completing a series of challenges ranging from basic computer programming, to building a room out of a bunch of puzzle pieces. The journey is probably a lot more fun than the destination in this case though. I decided to attempt the impossible, and tried out.
Day 1, 12AM:
There are a lot of dorks lined up in front of the castle with me waiting for the bell. What nerds! They haven't showered in weeks, and they are all wearing stupid anime t-shirts. Met a guy named Felix who plays Chromehounds, found out he's in my squad! Cool!
Day 1, 2PM:
Only half of us made in past the flamingos and the weird memory game to gain entry into the house. Poor Felix got his head blown off by a flamingo's laser.
Day 1, 5PM:
After much struggling, some pain, and a little backstabbing, I made it to the cipher room. I haven't seen any other applicants for 15 minutes, so I think I'm a little behind. Crap. Let's see, t-u?
Day 2, 11PM:
Oh $#!^! It's RSA encrypted! WTF? This is impossible!
Day 3, 12AM:
I killed a man. This is insane. All I wanted was his PBJ sandwich. WHY IS THIS EVEN PART OF THE COMPETITION? Why do we need real guns?
Day 3, 6PM:
Ok, I've got the hang of the whole lion taming thing. I figured out how to work the whip, but the stool? What's that for? Stephen Hawking is crazy! I don't need to kill people or tame lions to be his assistant! This doesn't make sense! Oh, wait, ping pong!
Day 5, 3PM:
Nothing matters but victory. I have tasted success. Failure is not an option. Failure is for the weak. I will emerge the champion, and all others will perish. My glory will shine upon their lifeless corpses, and they will gnash their teeth in envy.
Day 5, 3:30PM:
Aww. I got disqualified. Got one wrong, 'Jai Alai' isn't a parlour game. Crap. Oh well, who wants to wipe dribble from the chin of Dr. Hawking? Made it pretty far though, so I didn't humiliate myself.
4 comments:
You positive you don't do drugs?
Brings back so many memories... Those mazes in the elevator!! The binary alarm clock!! The Lying Robot Head!!!
Ooops! I meant to change that... It wasn't Mark, it was me (sheepish grin).
What kind of Jelly was on the sandwhich? The jelly makes the sandwhich. If it was grape or orange marmalaid blah, not worth it. But if it like rasberry, or say a mixture of two berrys, like blackberry rasberry, w/o the seeds of course, then give me the GD sandwhich, I don't care if you're my brother.
Who wants to whipe dibble of of SH? I DO! I would rub it behind my ears and in my armpits in hope that some of the smart would rub off on me.
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